As I reflect on 2019, I realize that the entire year has been filled with strenuous times, but also joyous ones. I’ve had much heartache, but goals have been accomplished. The sun has shone, but rain has befallen. I’ve read over and over friends’ posts regarding how awful the year was for them, and I can’t help but wonder if it was only that. Were there no good times? Did anything cause them to smile? Anything at all? I know that I have smiled through the tears. It reminds me of raindrops falling on my car and my wipers fighting to clean off the windshield. The sun peaks through at times but meanwhile it is still raining. Eventually, the rain leaves, the sun shines brightly, and the wipers no longer have to work so hard so I can see.
How was your year? Did anything make you smile or give you hope? For me it’s been the tea dates with my good friend, it’s seeing my children smile, it’s hearing their laughter, it’s having heart to heart conversations with my dad, it’s having a clean kitchen, or bathrooms, it’s accomplishing my goals, it’s watching my favorite shows with my husband, it’s reading a favorite book.
I have so much to be thankful for, but I also have so much that has broken my heart. My biggest sorrow has been watching my father’s health deteriorate. Seeing a man with so much life become a couch potato due to unbearable pain is heartbreaking. Thankfully, he is doing better. He still has pain, but it is less. He is thriving, and God willing he will win this battle.
I love seeing my youngest laughing and living life. Her smile never fails to bring a smile to my face as well. I enjoy seeing her dance and sing. She plays a Disney song, which she loves, and she lights up. Oh, what joy that brings me! The reason this is so significant is because she has suffered from depression and anxiety. She is so strong and resilient. I admire her more than she knows, because she has faced evils children should not have to and has survived.
Will 2020 be my year? Yes, it will! How do I know this? Because every year is my year. I choose that! I claim it. Every year has its struggles and its joyfulness, sad times and happy times. The Bible says there’s a time for everything and sometimes the good and bad overlap. Cry today, laugh tomorrow, cry again, and laugh again. This is life. Live it to the fullest regardless of the stage you are in.
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