I have not blogged in a while. You would think that being at home, in the middle of a pandemic, would have allowed me more time to do what I loved, but that was not the case. The uncertainty of what was happening in the world kept me from being a fully functional human being for some time, but I made the decision to trust God. I did what I HAD to do and not much more. I believed in God’s promises but did not have much desire to do more than was necessary. I am sure many can relate.
During that time, my dad fought for his life. I felt so helpless as I took him to his appointments, but I always kept the faith. I knew if God wanted to cure him, he would. Sadly, God’s plans don’t always align with our wishes. In December, I wrote about how courageous my dad was. Although I saw him deteriorating, I didn’t want to believe he would leave me so soon. On January 27, 2021, my daddy went to his eternal home. I miss him, but I know I will see him again someday.
Less than four months have passed and somehow it feels longer. From the moment he left, the passage of time has changed. I cannot explain it. It is as if all of a sudden, I am on a different spiritual realm. A realm where time stands still yet spirals at immeasurable speed. And due to this, life has been quite different. But guess what? In the midst of it all, God has showered me with His love. I found a beautiful family who welcomed me with open arms (that is a story for another day), and I am so thankful. God knew what I needed and gave it to me at the right moment.
I know my dad is in a better place. He is healthy, with a new body, and living his best life with our Father. I want to make him proud. I will never give up! I can feel his presence all around me which is so comforting. Tomorrow is his birthday. His first birthday in Heaven. I don’t know how I will feel, but I pray for peace.
I never knew what it was like to lose someone so close to me until now. I can’t explain all the emotions, the anger, the memories and what all that means. I won’t even try to make sense of it. All I can say is that if you are where I am, I understand.
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